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hingga fajar menyingsing di belahan bumi lain

The End Product

1 : the final product of a series of changes, processes, or operations <industry whose end product —yarns and fabrics—has been Britain’s bread and butter for centuries — Sam Pollock>

2: the ultimate result of a series of activities, experiences, or tendencies <every culture … is the end product of a long series of events occurring mostly in other cultures — A.L.Kroeber>

Today, I have to (again) watch the loss of Liverpool to MU. At the end of day, most of the fan (including) must be thinking that Liverpool deserve more for the way they have played the game. The team played bravely and actually creating a lot of chances at the final third. It was only a matter of finishing and capitalizing the goal. And then I realized, ever since I’ve watched Liverpool (more than 15 years ago) this is actually what Liverpool have become.

I started to support Liverpool because of a particular men, Robbie Fowler. Still wearing number 23 with a ridiculous blonde hair, he really represented the young and promising team that contain Jamie Redknapp, Steve McManaman, and Stan Collymore. That Liverpool team was really exciting and scored a lot of goals but never really made it to the top. Jamie Redknapp and Robbie Fowler had injuries before they were finally transferred, Madrid snapped Macca taking the advantage of Bosman policy, and Collymore…. What happened to that guy? Another boy came in the name of Michael Owen. He was set to be a legend before he was transferred by Madrid and took a down slope in his career.

In 2004, Rafalution happened.  Two major cups in 2005 and 2006 had all the supporters convinced that finally Liverpool will won the Premier League. But no, not even after becoming the European champion and back in the finals two years after. Not even with the likes of Xabi Alonso – Mascherano – Gerrard behind still-deadly Torres, not even after finishing 4 points behind MU in 2008/9 season. So there you go, the team that I have supported more than half of my life. The ever-promising and exciting Liverpool with the lack of end product.

and it made me think of something similar…my life…

In my childhood days I was quite a promising student, but when I move to a bigger city I didn’t make the best of adaption. Very soon I was trapped in the mediocre zone just hanging around trying to pass school in an indifferent manner and that hold on for 7 years.

My years of playing basketball was almost the same, I had a good run playing the 2-spot. I was a free throw away short from winning a tournament in high school and in college I was out 2 years for no legitimate reason and failed to reach the best of me.

Finally, one of the end product I would have expected and arguably the most important has not yet been capitalized. I’m well over 25 and still single. But that ladies and gentlemen will (hopefully) soon be changed. It took me some time to find the perfect girl, but finally I found her (in an unexpected place and circumstances). It took us some time to push the extra mile and establish a  path towards the end product, but persistence and patience paid. The time and place has been set and checklist has been made. Personally, I consider this as the biggest thing that would happened to me and after series of lack of end products in my life, I am definitely waiting to capitalize this.

Oh, and I would like to thanks several parties involved:

– linkedin, for convincing me that professional social media is necessary for me

– my employer, for sending me to a meeting that would change my life
– authorities, for choosing your office and not the usual hotel as the venue for that particular meeting
– friends that somehow brought up her name.



It was an unusually quiet day in a city of millions of people

at an unusually quiet place where normally hundreds of people passing by

and there you were in a shadow of purple

facing the red chair where I sat nervously.

So we spoke

the long awaited words that we had both been waiting, separately

and from that moment

there was no turning back.


Five Years Plan & Bucket List

One of the most intriguing HR question during work interview is about your five years planning. If this question comes out during a work interview, I am quite sure that it is related to career planning rather than personal life and in fact the career planning itself is related to the outcome of the interview. I sometimes wondered what kind of answer do they expect. Is it an optimistic answer like “I’ll be having a great climbing through the ladder of posts in your company”, or a humble one like “If I am given the chance to work for your company, I’ll be learning and trying to give the best contribution”, or even a strange one like, “You’ll know what I’ll be doing *wink*”?

Well, I’m not going to write about my five years career planning or what is the best answer to pass the interview. In fact, I wrote this because it’s nearly 5 years after my graduation (hence, working period and the first 5 years planning of life) and it’s interesting to see what has happen and what are the conditions compare to my expectations  5 years ago. The five years plan itself is of course always revised time to time because reality exists, in case you haven’t noticed. It is also interesting to see how those 5 years fulfill your bucket list.

So, let’s see how my 5 years plan went and its contribution to my bucket list.

1. Having an interesting and well paid job. Checked. Seriously, checked. I’m currently leaving it but will be back in no time.

2. Perform umroh. Checked. Original plan was to perform hajj, but things came a bit short.

3. To buy a house. Checked with note that the payment is still on going until..well, I don’t know until how long actually.

4. Continue playing basketball and further revised to winning basketball trophies. Checked. IPC  in 2009 and Petrocup in 2012 were a testament to that.

5. Getting a masters degree. On going. Was going back and forth having a lot of doubt on this one but finally decided to do it. (as I wrote in previous post).

6. Accidentally met a beautiful girl in elevator and falling head over heels for her. Was not in the original plan. Checked.

Well, all this rambling unstructured post is in fact rubbish. I just want to wrote point 6 and will probably write more about it. Hopefully point 6 will get me to one of the most important thing that wasn’t able to be fulfilled in my five years plan.





The View from Here

Four years and 10 months. That is the amount of time I’ve spent in Balikpapan (there were of course holidays and stuffs in other cities during that period but let’s put it this way) before I went to this place and it was not before 5 months ago I even thought about going to this place after I’ve received the bitter rejection from two other places. So here I am at Scotland’s beautiful capital, Edinburgh.

So, why am I here? Good question, Mate! (I will have Sundanese-Scottish accent a year from now)

If I have to put it in a word, then it would be this: Education.

A lot of people have questioned my decision to take advanced degree considering the fact that I already have a so-called steady job at a respective company. Honestly, even myself was questioning this decision. I do have a job, a house, and most importantly a life that I have to leave behind (for a while, supposedly). I don’t have a wife yet, but moving here is not really helping actually.

After a lot of thinking, I finally manage to find several reasons to answer the question from strictly personal point of view. Oh, and career boost is not one of the answer, for the time being it’s seems like my career path would be better if I continue on working.

1. Education does make a difference.

I have lived upon the path of education and most of the people I consider having a successful life are somehow walking upon the path of it. It is not only the degree that counts, but it’s the whole process of teaching and learning that enriches your knowledge. It might not be an instantaneous advantage in my case, but I do believe that somewhere along the road I will gladly feel the benefits (and my employer too, hopefully).

2. Employees lacks theoretical side/technical background

Before I went here, someone told me that it is better to rely on professional training rather than pursuing an advanced degree because lecturer in universities tend to be impractical due to lack of industry background. To be fair, we have to see as well that a lot of employees doesn’t have enough theoretical knowledge and they tend to be “software” engineer. I am hoping that an advanced degree will bridge the theoretical and practical side that is needed to be an engineer.

3. A Necessary break of all this fuss about career

Higher post, salary, benefits, bla bla bla bla, I just need a break! I’ve started to work 4 days after my graduation day when I was still 22 years old. It was really a blessing for a mediocre guy like me to even get the job, but seriously I deserve a break. I know it won’t be that much looking at the schedule, but it’s really a privilege to have one year break from the working world.

4. It was in my 5 years planning in 2007.

I made it in time (I failed the already-being-married-with-at-least-one-child though). It’s a good thing to remember your 5 years planning 5 years ago and by pursuing one of your target, it made you feel young again. No, I’m not talking about the stamina and metabolism, rather about idealism. It felt great to make a decision that was not easy and less comforting to achieve something you and your parents really wanted.

Well, I guess that’s it. Four answers in enough I think. I got a get back to the real thing on pursuing a degree (blogging about pursuing a degree is not the real thing, in case you haven’t noticed).


This Boy

I used to be a very stubborn person. The kind that doesn’t afraid to jump into trouble. Says things in his mind without thinking about the consequences.

When it comes to people that I care about, I am not afraid to do what I think I need to do to protect them.

As a kid, I bullied anyone who tried to bullied my brother. I slapped friends during disagreement.

In high school, during a basketball match, a senior of mine had a collision and bleed from his eyebrow. He was like a brother to me and so I tried to make them pay for it. Deliberately I was fouled out on 2nd quarter and my team loss the game without any agony.

If you try to tell me that I could not do something, then I will consider it as a challenge.

But that was the past. I had my ups and downs. I’ve made my mistakes and now have grown into a reasonable boy with a high level of maturity. Now this…. is a big fat lie.

I am still me, the stubborn boy with a never give-up attitude, with more experience, and proper reasoning behind. Yet still, a trouble maker.